Just for ships and squiggles, I tracked the more solid portion of my lunch today:

A Turkey and Spinach wrap:

Food	Calories	Fat cal	Sodium %
Tortilla	160	25	13
Turkey slice (x2)	80	20	40
Soy cheese	45	20	8
Spinach
Total	285	65	61

  I left the Spinach empty because I use an unspecific amount.  I just pile it on - maybe half a cup worth?  I'm not really sure how to measure leaves anyway because they're hard to measure.  But nonetheless, a full serving of Spinach (3 cups) would be 4% sodium and very low in calories.

According to the About.com calorie/day calculator

For my height and weight and with “moderate activity” (although I believe I should be at very active) my calorie intake per day should be 2540.

Calories of fat: 20% (~580 calories)

This means I'm waay under.  It's not the only thing I'm eating but the other stuff I've eaten or will eat (minus dinner) comprise of fruits, more spinach, some juice, and some soy milk.

I need to eat more fats: unsaturated specifically.  Good thing I have pan-fried salmon at home.  I need the fat from the olive oil.

Regarding feeling blessed..

This was during the gap between when I quit my initial AARS job, got contracted do stuff in between, then got rehired for my second AARS job.

Anyway.. this is why those 2 1/2 years were and always will be special..
I can't say I walk into the office and feel anything close to this anymore. Not comparing. Life and work is good.  Just stating the real.

[START]

blessings for today
- had my first interview for a job in over a year and a half. didn't do as well as I hoped, but it's a start.

- coming into work, even though I quit already, didn't feel so weird. it still feels like home.

- seeing happy faces and being bumrushed with a hug from sunshine when I came in from a lunch hour I should not have taken.

- supac giving me the copy of a burned CD of soul that kdiggety's roommate made.

- seeing razelle's face when she opened the door to the warehouse and just smiled.

- doing a role play with thuyzy for the new peeps.

- hearing the boss say I can do some individual services if needed at the schools as I am training. =D

- hearing rho tell me about how t-money saw this dood on the train the other day writing poetry and thought of me.

- hearing my boy lo among others tell me it's nice having me back in the office (even for the little bit I'm there.)

- sasha the intern saying that she learned something from the role play. =)

....

AND after I realized I left Lynn out.. this is what I wrote:

though i love so many folks in that "office" - for some reason I think lucy/lyncee is my favorite person to see smiling or to make sure she is smiling, at least for that split second that I say anything to her (usually a sarcastic comment.)

so thank you, lynn. thank you for smiling.

Seal Coat:

1) 8:10AM - The Adventures of Kavalier and Klay: Rosa Saks Klay was wearing a Seal Coat. I thought to myself - "Oh, they made coats out of seal?"

2) 8:55AM - Monsterquest (TV): While researching a possible sea monster in Florida, one of the theories was that the animal caught on tape was a caribbean seal (extinct as of 2008 - unseen since 1990s). The scientist said that they were hunted for oil and SEAL Coats.

Pinewood Derby:

1) Sometime last week or earlier this week - South Park: Stan's dad steals electromagnets and hyper boosts Stan's pinewood derby car.

2) 8:59AM - Some commercial: A dad driving a minivan helped his son with the pinewood derby race. Is it Pinewood Derby race season, or something?

Thank You Emails:
I've been sending forwards/emails to my community contacts forever about our events, opportunities, and other opps that pass through me.

1) Tues Afternoon: One of my office-mates came into my office to ask me how I decide which emails to forward to our agency-wide email list. I told her that I couldn't articulate it.

Then...

2) Tues Night: Someone at my agency emails back just to thank me for the forwards and says that a young person she works with saw one of the flyers, signed up, and is now part of that program (employment-focused, I think).

3) Wed Night: Someone at another agency emails back just to thank me for keeping her in the loop and being enthusiastic about the work.

Nice to know that my forwards mean something and that I'm making good decisions about which forwards to send.

The Star Trek and subsequently Alias Number (due to JJ Abrams' thing for Star Trek.. which has led to his upcoming Star Trek thing).

NUMBER 47:

1) Yahoo! News: 47 year old teacher brings 4 students to a male strip club.
2) Yahoo! News: 47 year old is shot by her husband - in the forehead with bullet passing through the back - and lives to tell and serve tea.
3) SFGate News: Liberal dude goes to not-Liberal Liberty University for an anthropological and undercover study of the Christian students as a fair study - not to clown on them. 47 comments at the time.

All this in a a 15 minute span.

Dr. Pepper on Twitterverse:

1) Olivia Munn (@oliviamunn) tells me that diet Dr. Pepper cures headaches
2) Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) tells me that water is meant to be turned into Dr. Pepper

Thank you, Internets!

I went through the Yahoo inbox and did a cleansing. This is what I re-examined about the last 3 years (Feb 2006 through now) through my inbox. (The caveat is that I’ve obviously erased emails since then – I’ve erased numerous, but let’s only keep that in mind when I’m referring to percentages.. like...)

I’m pretty sure that 20% or so of the emails I just erased were from Facebook. Other regular spam that I obviously didn’t feel too inspired to erase were from Borders. Coupons for Borders Rewards! I can’t turn them down.

(The other caveat is that since August 2008, I’ve had my T-Mobile Dash and that means I’ve erased numerous emails directly from my phone. This should definitely skew some percentages. But then, the percentages really don’t matter. We’re looking at the big picture here.)

I also had numerous Amazon.com emails: mostly of the “Your Order” or “Your Order has shipped” variety.

There were a lot of good times captured in those emails. Softball games with the Barrelmen. Coordinating renting situations for Mon and Eric’s wedding in Hawaii. Poker games. Random jokes.

I also have access to some of the pics I took from my prior phone that I no longer have access to. Since my micro-SD drive never read my card, I basically lost all the data on that phone. Now, I have a bunch of them.

It also documents, pretty clearly, the change in social life in late summer 2008.

There were still numerous leftover emails from the 2008 NaNoWriMo. There were lots of order confirmations from various sporting events.

There were obviously other emails received that have been deleted along the way, but the ones that were left tell a pretty comprehensive story.

wack ass morning.. the FU awards go to...

.. CHEAP ASS wireless modems that FLIP OUT all the time
.. the TRUCKS on Industrial. the TRUCKS on 92. the TRUCKS on 101.
.. the dumbass that rolled his stop sign to make a right, right when I was making a left onto the same street
.. the dumbass that didn't slow down in the parking lot when she was turning right and I had the right of way
.. community partners that pass the buck
.. Lew WOLFF whose south bay orgasm (SCU, Earthquakes, South end of Fremont) makes it apparent that he never WANTED to be in Oakland in the first place when he bought the team
.. myself

hehehehe...


Never dreamed of living lavish,
Rather be smiley, like tavis,
Try hard not be rude,
so don't call me Rick, I'm not ravish,
never been a fat cat, but I am the one,
just like Heathcliff, got you dogs on the run,
the combustible huxtable
ruling your attention with rhymes so lovable,
you'll be like Big Pun,
eating up my words like they're crushable,
you don't wanna be a player no more,
that's cool, cuz I got a lot of show in store,
enter the doors, but wipe your feet before you enter,
and you can even bow down in a peaceful surrender,
I called out the number after the letter,
It's B14 now your battleship is going under,
her blouse man, it's over straight through,
cuz I'm Just Riden' like Saafir and the Hobo crew,
Actually, I'm writing, more correctly like grammar,
I'm your favorite email, you're just another damn spammer,
It's been.. a while since I tried to keystyle,
but in the meanwhile, nothing's changed by my profile,
and my whole style, going from baggy to lean,
I'm mean and I'm balding like Gene,
It's cool though, getting wiser is a gift,
so I rip, some new schemes so I could trip,
a rift in the continuum of space and time,
not to replay but to reinvigorate the rhyme.
Never go back, got my sights set for the presence,
of these words as my essence – my soul effervescent.

- the blizzlefosizzle

in a different life,
your words would flow next to mine
with the same scheme,
with a smooth rhyme,
your lyrics and decadence
proclaiming my relevance to their
existence.

in a different life
your eloquence would mix
with my broken syntax,
like needles on wax
and expose the allusions
of romances timed perfectly
in our compositions.

in a different life,
these hollowed out bullets
of letters and punctuation
wouldn't cause death but creation -
the manifestation
of two individually beautiful
fragments run-on
but given meaning by a semi-colon.

in a different life,
in a different atmosphere
where our paralleled bodies would interweave,
histories would matter less
than the volumes of stories bound in sheathes
like swords or sharp quills,
the thrills of the flirtation
of our energies
more addictive than the initial butterflies
or reality tv.

in a different life,
where you write too much,
and my hand gets fatigued,
where I speak in mixed metaphors
and indulgent discretion,
you are the footnotes of expert translation,
the solemn ear to my confession.
but in that different life,
there would be no sins for which to atone,
or reasons for unrequited feelings
to be left silent and alone.
in that different life,
the listed long complications screaming resolutely
would be laughed at and paid no mind
for their futility.

A different life isn't real,
but you are. and I am.
and the rhythms and literary expanses
and spoken diatribes of love, life, and general
dissatisfaction of anyone else -
are real.
but the more we confide and the more we delve,
the more we can't get over ourselves.

in this life,
we are just bad love poetry repeated
with images of different faces,
same verbs but different subjects -
and the same us
refusing to overcome the reasons
that we swim aimlessly in a sea of words
with no cohesion.

It's been a while since I've ran into some weird funky coincidences that I called energy.. got a bit of the past few days and a lot of it revolved around my rip parade. That all started, btw, with the desire of listening to the NWA reunion they lasted two songs. I had the second track, "Hello" from the Ice Cube greatest hits. The first, "Chin Check", I had somewhere on a cd. Luckily, I've stored most of the CDs I've made in two main places in my room. Once I jumped in and found the cds, that's when this whole when-john-reminisce-over-you (you as in songs) party started.

So, I already stated the funny Napster coincidence.

As I was loserishly driving aimlessly in Fremont last night, I drove by the regular thoroughfares that made any sense in my personal and sentimental history. Of course, the sentimentality of the drive wasn't much more than anything forced since I was listening to nostalgia-inducing music. My path, starting at Longs in Brookvale because I had to pick up my drugs (inhaler, kids), took me going South on Fremont Blvd. past American.. past Thornton Blvd.. past Fremont Hub all the way to Osgood.. resisted the Fry's urge.. then I continued West onto Auto Mall/Durham.. back to 101.. to Mowry.. past the former Target area.. finally back to the Hub so I could grab some salad supplies at Trader Joe's. Not sure what I remember from my driving except for just driving aimlessly, listening to cheesy ass slow jams from back in the day, and the funny juxtapositioning of the City Beach neon sign and the Christian Church next door that too had some neon lining some of the building's contours. Anyway, from the angle I was seeing the sign and the building, I swore I thought it was a older Vegas area Casino like Gold Coast. I thought it was funny since the building was actually a church. Hence, my fast track to the aych eeh double hockey sticks place that's all the rage.

Anyway, that wasn't the point.

I've been debating this week if I wanted to go back on my steadfast decision to forego any celebreaking of any sort for celebreakable social landmarks happening in the near future. Then while driving the fam on Tuesday my dad said something about people being happy in the Philippines and not all sumangot like we are here. I'm sure that was heavily directed towards me. And then today, I went to a meeting and watched a segment of series about health disparities and there was a significant portion of the documentary talking about social isolation in our culture and their adverse effects on our health.

And, I think it's not fun being as disconnected as I've been. So..

time to party.

High school List: Thursday, 12/04/08

1. Mary J. Blige - Real Love
2. LL - Hey Lover
3. Smif-N-Wessun - Wreckonize (Remix)
4. Dr. Dre - F.. Wit Dre Day
5. Stevie B - Spring Love
6. Shai - Come With Me
7. Luniz - Playa Hata
8. SWV - Weak
9. Xscape - Understanding
10. Color Me Badd - Forever Love
11. Shai - Yours
12. No Doubt - Just a Girl
13. Black Sheep - The Choice is Yours
14. Mic Geronimo - (sh)It's Real
15. Ahmad/Ras Kass/Saafir - Come Widdit
16. Fugees - Nappy Head
17. Selena - Dreaming of You
18. Babyface - Two Occassions
19. Terror Fabulous - Action
20. Organized Konfusion - Stress
21. Fugees - Ready or Not
22. Das Efx - They Want Efx
23. Ray Luv - Get Your Money On
24. PM Dawn - Set Adrift on Memory Bliss
25. Silk - Don't Rush
26. TLC - Baby, Baby, Baby
27. Tribe - Electric Relaxation
28. Mary J. and Smif-N-Wessun - I Love You remix
29. Hi-5 - I Like the Way
30. Tribe - Oh My God
31. Weezer - Buddy Holly
32. Heavy D - You Can't See What I Can See
33. After 7 - Til You Do Me Right
34. Weezer - Say it Ain't So
35. Tony Toni Tone - If I Had No Loot
36. Eazy-E - Real Muthaf***in' G'z (or real compton city g'z for the radio inclined)
37. Pharcyde - Pandemonium
38. Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee
39. New Edition - Lost in Love
40. Bobby Brown - Good Enough
41. Luther and Janet - The Best Things in Life are Free
42. Lea Salonga - We Could Be In Love
43. Snoop - Lodi Dodi
44. Silk - Freak Me
45. Jon B. - Pretty Girl
46. The B.U.M.S. - Elevation (Free My Mind)
47. Boyz II Men - Yesterday
48. Black Moon - Who Got the Props?
49. Jodeci - Feenin'
50. Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah
51. Tribe - Scenario remix
52. LL - Around the Way Girl
53. ADOR - Let it All Hang Out
54. Xscape - Just Kickin' It
55. R. Kelly - Bump n Grind
56. Terry Ellis - Wherever You Are
57. Arrested Development - Tennessee
58. 2pac - Keep Ya Head Up
59. Tony Thompson - I Want a Love Like That
60. The Roots - Proceed
61. Ralph T - Do What I Gotta Do
62. Puff Johnson - Forevermore
63. New Edition - Boys To Men
64. Souls of Mischief - 93 til Infinity
65. Ben E. Kind - Stand By Me (remember graduation? =P)
66. Blackstreet - Joy
67. Boyz II Men - Motownphilly (Sudden Impact, bia)
68. Tevin Campbell - Can We Talk?
69. Shai - Together Forever
70. Groove Theory - Tell Me
71. Bone - The Crossroads
72. New Edition - Is This The End?
73. Naughty By Nature - Uptown Anthem
74. Pete Rock and CL Smooth - They Reminisce Over You
75. The Gravediggaz - 1-800 Suicide
76. Janet Jackson - Again
77. Fugees - Vocab remix
78. PM Dawn - I'd Die Without You
79. Monia - Before You Walk Out of My Life
80. Wu-Tang - Da Mystery of Chessboxin
81. Naughty By Nature - Everything's Gonna Be Alright
82. The Dove Shack - Summertime in LBC
83. Hi-C - I'm Not Your Puppet
84. KRS-One - Hiphop vs Rap
85. Digital Underground - Freaks of the Industry
86. Fugess - Killing Me Softly
87. Jeru - Come Clean
88. Mad Lion - Take it Easy
89. Mint Condition - Breaking My Heart
90. Surface - Never Gonna Let You Down

and with that... I'm taking my ass home! My legs, torso, arms, and head also.